Posted by Glen Ballard and Siedah Garrett are the song writers of Man in the Mirror. This song was performed by many excellent singers, but the most popular was Michael Jackson. Basically, the song is about making a change, not in others but in oneself. For all who would listen, the lyrics to this song were very convicting because we all want to see change in our world for the better. Yet, how many of us are willing to make a change within ourselves? How many of us are willing to take a look within and challenge those thoughts and behaviors that contradict who we are, or desire to be as a person?
In most cases, even who we desire to be as a person will change over time because the virtues that lead to abiding peace and joy will take time to develop. In 2Peter 1:5-7, it is written this way: “Because you have these blessings, do all you can to add to your life these things: to your faith add goodness; to your goodness add knowledge; to your knowledge add self-control; to your self-control add patience; to your patience add devotion to God; to your devotion add kindness toward your brothers and sisters in Christ, and to this kindness add love. To do this, there must be much more than merely changing the person in the mirror, or attempting to change manifested behaviors, there must also be a willingness to take a look within to find out the cause of unwanted behaviors, and then learning how to disconnect from them.
It is not easy for many of us to take a look within ourselves in order to understand our behavior, even when that behavior does not reflect who we claim to be as a person. For the last several months my check-engine light has been coming on in my car. Because my car has many miles on it, I dreaded the thought of what the cause could be, but I finally took it to professionals to let me know the cause and what I needed to do to have it corrected. Consequently, this caused me some anxiety and fear because I thought I might have a repair bill far beyond my budget. To my surprise, after taking it to two different locations, neither team of professionals could come up with the cause. I was relieved but it is still a bit annoying seeing that light come on for several days and then go off again. It is a problem I had to learn to disconnect from and proceed as if there was no problem.
When we acknowledge behaviors from ourselves that contradict who we are, or who we desire to be as a person, the first step is to treat it as a problem and not become complacent. Making an effort to change is honorable, however, if the problem persists, then it may be necessary to look within; take a deeper look to find the origin of the problem. Once the origin is realized, there can be steps towards disconnecting, and then connecting to the behavior that is most desired.
There are several therapeutic approaches that come to mind for helping to address these unwanted behaviors. Two focus on making the unconscious conscious. They are psychoanalysis, and Adlerian therapy. These therapeutic approaches offer techniques and interventions that can help address past issues that have not been resolved while giving an understanding of the cause of current behavior. While it is good to understand how our past affects our present, it is also necessary to disconnect from unhealthy past experiences and move into another chapter of life. Learning to accept that the engine light is on, even when there has been no problem found, and then moving on as if there is no problem is an example of Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Unfortunately, some things have to be tolerated until more positive change is manifested. Even so, hopefully you will agree that the important virtues are to be maintained as best as possible. Make sure the oil is changed, tires are rotated, and all that needs to be done is done until it’s time to get another car.
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