Posted by There are different opinions about the old saying: “Walk a mile in another person’s shoes”. This is a request to be adhered to before judging another person. Recent studies reveal that instead of walking a mile in another person’s shoes, or actually feeling what another person is experiencing or has experienced, it is better to just think about what they have experienced or walk beside them for a while. In either case, it is important to empathize instead of engaging in premature judgement of another person.
Recently, in a conversation with a Celebrate Recovery leader I was told, instead of criticizing someone who is unable to run as expected, it would make sense to at least first check to see if that person has a good reason for not being able to run. Perhaps hip surgery is needed. There would be no way of knowing without taking the time to get to know the other person’s story.
Empathy can go a long way in all relationships, especially those that are intended to be close relationships. Empathy is one of the three core principles of Person-Centered Therapy. None of us like to be judged, especially not prematurely, and even more, especially not wrongfully. Learning to empathize with others is a keyway to avoiding such judgements. Of course, some of us are more naturally empathetic than others. I have heard some people say that it is difficult for them to empathize with others. Perhaps it is because of their personality type which may include judging instead of perception as indicated in the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator.
Each of us comes from a different background and we may be of a different culture. When one person’s culture or background seems to be of more benefit than others, it is easy to judge the one who seems to be less functional. This may have been the case during the Apostle Paul’s day when comparisons were being made according to works by a certain circle of teachers who turned out to be critical of the Apostle Paul. It is obvious that they did not know or care to know the Apostle Paul’s story, or what was going on behind the scenes of his life. They only saw what appeared to be his shortcomings. Paul described it this way: “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2Corinthians 10:12). Instead, there is a standard that we can all compare ourselves with, and that is the standard of Jesus, which none of us can measure up to. This means, none of us can rightfully boast, but we all need mercy and grace to stand worthy before Him.
Therefore, we should refrain from judging others according to our own standards, backgrounds, or cultures. Even when it comes to applying biblical standards, there are some who may be stuck in what the bible calls strongholds (2Corinthians 10:4-5), and psychology may call faulty core beliefs. In either case, without walking along side a person who may not be able to run as others, the fact that a hip surgery may be needed could be overlooked, and that person may be wrongfully judged instead of rightfully helped to overcome the problem.
Heritage Counseling Center Blog 