Posted by As a Christian Therapist, my goal for each of my clients is to demonstrate the three elements that are highlighted in Carl Roger’s Person-Centered Theory. They are Empathy, Unconditional Positive Regard, and Genuineness. The reason for this is because these elements are reflected in something that is needed by each of us which is Agape Love.
In the past, I have written about struggles that many of us have that may cause anxiety, depression, or both. If these conditions are traced, they would often lead to a lack of self-acceptance which is understandable because we live in a society that is very performance based. Many of us grew up trying to please the people around us, a parent, teacher, or other respected persons in our life during that time. For some, it was a matter of survival and such performance-based mindset followed into adulthood and became a way of life. It may have become like a dog chasing its tail, closely reaching the goal, but never doing so to satisfaction. This can become exhausting and eventually hopeless.
It is good for us to have people in our lives that we love and who love us. This is the ideal plan for our lives. Unfortunately, those people and we ourselves have a way of wandering from that ideal plan and even the best of intentions can fail. This was strongly illustrated in Revelations 2 in a letter to the Church of Ephesus. It says, “I know your works, your toil, and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first” (Rev 2:2-4). From this we can see that no matter how well we do in life, no matter how much we achieve, it is essential to keep ourselves connected to our First Love, to Agape Love that is available to each of us through Jesus Christ.
Some of us may have gotten a distorted view of God at an early stage of our life. I remember I used to think God was somewhere up there in the sky waiting for me to break a commandment which would prove my unworthiness and that I deserved His punishment. Fortunately, I finally learned that God loves each of us, and to experience that love directly I only needed to accept His Son Jesus into my heart. From there the goal is to stay in touch with the First Love. Unconditional-positive regard is very important for our mental and spiritual health. Having people in our lives who reflect this is an invaluable resource. However, if friends, even family members, or any who have served as that resource should fail, Love is still available, and Love never ever fail. 1John 4:8 says, “…God is love”.
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