Posted by I want to believe the church is making progress in addressing and challenging the stigma of mental health but then someone walks into my office feeling totally ashamed that they are in a counseling office and questioning if it is a faith problem. They come pondering questions like: Do I just not have enough faith? Do I need to read my Bible more? Am I sinning when I’m anxious or depressed? As we begin to process their story, they share how well-meaning individuals in their circles have told them they just need to pray more or read the Bible more or _______. You don’t need counseling, you just need prayer or more Bible reading. Do you really have genuine faith if you take medication for depression? And as the processing continues, we start to identify the layers of shame created when this happens.
Mental health problems exist because the world we live in is broken and the ways our brains are supposed to function has been altered, but it is a slippery slope when we start classifying depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses as sin rather than as the result of sin (though there may be times where a sin issue is present). It would be like telling a person who has diabetes or cancer that they are sinning or just need to pray more to overcome their sickness. While that scenario seems more ridiculous, for some reason with mental health, people are quicker to offer their suggestions of how to “get better”. Cancer patients can go to the doctor for treatment and medication without question because that is what is necessary, but depression brings a side-eye glance.
Now I want to be clear that I do not deny the power of God’s Word or prayer for changing lives, but when mental illness is classified solely as a sin problem, my counselor ears perk up. I often find myself wishing that I could sit down with those people to have a conversation at greater length because though the person means well, their delivery is off, and I would love to be able to help them understand a better way to respond.
For a long time, mental illness has made those within the Christian circle uncomfortable. Some of it may be due to the origins of the therapy world. Modern counseling first emerged as a quite secular practice, and because of this, many Christians wanted to distance themselves from it, so there is a major roadblock there. Additionally, I believe that some of the discomfort comes from a lack of education and understanding, but this is problematic in an age where information is so readily available. Brain research and studies on anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses have really expanded in the last fifteen years, and we know so much more about chemical levels and brain structure and how they impact functioning. Some of the problems may also be related to finding Biblically sound, psychologically accurate, truth-filled resources. It seems easier to say “pray more” than to find solid, scripturally sound, psychologically informed resources for how to support someone struggling with mental illness.
The problem with “pray more” or “read the Bible more” responses is that many Christians do just that and their mental struggle does not go away. I think Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12 regarding his thorn in the flesh are relatable here. Scholars are unsure of what the “thorn” Paul refers to is, but most agree that it is not an actual thorn but rather a physical or mental ailment that is bothering Paul. Paul says he pleads with the Lord to take the thorn away but is instead met with Christ’s reassurance of His grace being sufficient. For some people, anxiety or depression might be their “thorn” in life. They live with the hope that one day all things will be made new—that they will walk in true freedom –but also recognize that this world is greatly impacted by brokenness. Therefore, until redemption is complete, their struggle will not be fully taken away.
In that conversation with the person wanting to say “pray more”, I would first address that person’s view of sin and suffering. I would explore their beliefs regarding how much impact sin has on the world we live in and on the way our bodies and minds operate.
We do not have a super detailed account of what life in the Garden of Eden looked like prior to the Fall (the moment when sin enters the world), but what Scripture does say is that creation was good, and Adam and Eve lived unashamed. They enjoyed taking care of the creation and enjoying close communion with God the Father, but then the Serpent tempts Eve telling her, “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5). Eve takes a bite, shares with Adam, and sin is ushered into the world. Everything changes and Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened. Sickness, death, division, and a heap of other problems are now part of Adam and Eve’s story. Sin brought about a multitude of changes, and I would like to argue that it may be worth considering that the biological chemistry of how brains are intended to operate has been affected by the Fall. Did God create humans to have anxious minds or depressed spirits? No, but because sin runs rampant in this world, these things are now part of our reality.
If our understanding shifts from mental illness being classified solely as sin and we create space to think about how it may also be the result of living in a broken world with bodies that get sick and break, that would mean there needs to be a different way of responding. So how does a counselor encourage you to respond if someone talks about their mental health with you?
- First, notice your instincts and feelings and think about how you would want someone to respond to you. Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Sometimes, discomfort makes us want to speak quickly so that we can get rid of the discomfort, but this is a disservice to the other person. What would you want someone to say to you in this situation? Would you want a list of suggestions or just someone who can share the burden with you without saying a word? I find most people want to know that they are not alone.
- Second, actively listen. Start with saying nothing. Comments like “pray more” or “have more faith” do not communicate understanding. Sharing about a mental health struggle is a vulnerable thing to do, and though the intent may be to encourage or help by offering a suggestion for how to improve, listening first is the best option. When you call mental illness a sin without taking time to listen, you create layers of shame. Proceed cautiously with the suggestions and the words that you offer. Though your intent may be to help, some words can do more harm than good. Listen first, reflect what you hear the person saying, and then find a way to empathize (putting yourself in their shoes) to establish an emotional connection. Empathy always builds bridges. It might sound something like, “it sounds like you’re really going through a lot right now” or “you have a lot on your plate. It must be so overwhelming”. This type of response helps a person to feel seen, heard, and understood, and that is honestly what I think most people are looking for when they share about their struggle.
- Third, find out how you can be of support. Communicate that you are thankful the person felt safe enough to confide in you about what they are facing and then find out if there are specific ways that you can be of support. Do they need accountability in calling a counselor? Do they just need someone to listen? Pray for them and encourage their bravery in seeking help, whether that is from medication or therapy.
My hope is that if we could all learn to respond this way, we would see a major decrease in the stigma of mental illness within the church, and maybe that would mean less people walk into my office feeling ashamed of seeing me. Mental illness is not solely a faith problem, so please, find different words to say in response.
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